New Life Plans

Well Cyprus has left me with nothing to do my last week here. It is sweltering hot, there is nowhere pretty to sit outside, and I can't walk anywhere remotely pretty because I will die of heat stroke. Even if I were to make it back to the house, I wouldn't be able to shower anyway and would then sit in frustration of being hot, disgusting, and bored.

So of course that has left me to reading books and watching copious amounts of Sex and the City, which in turn has made me realized that I must immediately change all of my future plans.

At first I thought I should just become the next Carrie Bradshaw. Then I realized I am not a size zero, I do not have a shoe fetish, and if I ever became a sex columnist I might send my mother to an early grave. Or just be kicked out of the Ryan family. Neither are things that really appeal to me at the moment.

Reading The Confessions of an Economic Hit Man by John Perkins has just led me to believe that I am probably partaking in some huge conspiracy set up to extort millions of dollars from every person I meet (although at this point I wouldn't mind cheating Cypriots out of all their money and putting it my bank account. They shouldn't be allowed to drive their expensive cars and wear their expensive clothes before figuring out how to let me do my laundry whenever I need to do laundry).

So I am back again to believing that I should just drop out of college and become a baker. Then at least I can feed the poor with my confectionery delights, and then have lots of free time to campaign for human rights and hand out free condoms next the crazy evangelists on 42nd St (not because I think that handing out a handful of condoms to every passerby is an effective method, but just because I would thoroughly enjoy prancing around the preacher man that promises God is smiting all the smokers and homosexuals). Or I could just go back to my fourth grade plan: taking over Fiji and spreading communism throughout the world. I'm pretty sure I didn't fully understand what communism was at the time, but I'm starting to like the idea more and more every day. Benevolent Emperoress Maggie of the World- I like it.

Or maybe I just need to get off this island, return to normal civilization, and stop having to develop plans of world domination just so that I have something to update this blog with.