New Life Plans

Well Cyprus has left me with nothing to do my last week here. It is sweltering hot, there is nowhere pretty to sit outside, and I can't walk anywhere remotely pretty because I will die of heat stroke. Even if I were to make it back to the house, I wouldn't be able to shower anyway and would then sit in frustration of being hot, disgusting, and bored.

So of course that has left me to reading books and watching copious amounts of Sex and the City, which in turn has made me realized that I must immediately change all of my future plans.

At first I thought I should just become the next Carrie Bradshaw. Then I realized I am not a size zero, I do not have a shoe fetish, and if I ever became a sex columnist I might send my mother to an early grave. Or just be kicked out of the Ryan family. Neither are things that really appeal to me at the moment.

Reading The Confessions of an Economic Hit Man by John Perkins has just led me to believe that I am probably partaking in some huge conspiracy set up to extort millions of dollars from every person I meet (although at this point I wouldn't mind cheating Cypriots out of all their money and putting it my bank account. They shouldn't be allowed to drive their expensive cars and wear their expensive clothes before figuring out how to let me do my laundry whenever I need to do laundry).

So I am back again to believing that I should just drop out of college and become a baker. Then at least I can feed the poor with my confectionery delights, and then have lots of free time to campaign for human rights and hand out free condoms next the crazy evangelists on 42nd St (not because I think that handing out a handful of condoms to every passerby is an effective method, but just because I would thoroughly enjoy prancing around the preacher man that promises God is smiting all the smokers and homosexuals). Or I could just go back to my fourth grade plan: taking over Fiji and spreading communism throughout the world. I'm pretty sure I didn't fully understand what communism was at the time, but I'm starting to like the idea more and more every day. Benevolent Emperoress Maggie of the World- I like it.

Or maybe I just need to get off this island, return to normal civilization, and stop having to develop plans of world domination just so that I have something to update this blog with.

You are Mostly Welcome

Translation mishaps are fabulous when traveling. For instance, Jessica and I rented a car for our trip through Jordan and when we thanked the car rental guy for his assistance he replied "You are mostly welcome". Later on at one of our hostels a sign read "Not responsible for any lost". This was right after swim at your own risk and no children under 15 allowed without parents.

Occasionally it's not so great. When you are in the middle of nowhere, in the mountains, you haven't seen a gas station in over an hour, and you are no on the dreaded "E", the last thing you want to come across is the security check point officer that speaks no English except a very vivacious "Welcome to Jordan" and can not answer any of your frantic questions about where to find gas.

Another thing to do when traveling and not being amused by grammatical inaccuracies and panicked by your current gas emergency is Brit Spotting. This can take place anywhere. Qualifications include: usually late middle aged to older couples, come off large tour group buses and travel in wild packs, the women usually wear white pants or short, floppy hats that are atrocious, and are sporting a sun burn on their arms and chests that is just downright repulsive. The men usually wear khaki shorts, a button down shirt that is untucked and usually the bottom buttons are left undone, sandals with knee length athletic socks, and a hat that makes them feel like Indiana Jones. When you feel like you've mastered it, you can being wagering bets with your travel companion. If you find out that they aren't British, then it just more of a reason to mock them as they have lost all excuse for their terrible terrible fashion mishaps.

Of course when you are asked if you are British you are utterly embarrassed and realize you must run to the nearest dressing room as soon as possible.


My trip to Jordan was absolutely fantastic. The best trip I have had this semester. No pictures or words could even begin to describe how beautiful it is. The people are wonderful, and it has been the first time this semester I haven't been hesitant about admitting I am from America. Usually that is followed by "Oh...Bush. We don't like him." and then a tirade of offenses he has made. In Jordan it was the magic phrase. Get pulled over for speeding? Say that you are American and roam free. Get lost in Amman? Say that you are American and have 100 people try and help you. The welcomes are endless, and usually include hand waving and large smiles, and an occasional crazy hug that you don't quite know what to do with.

Now just ten more days in Cyprus, one more week of traveling, and then I'm coming back to the US. No more changing currency and crying that I just lost half my money because the USD is worth noting, no more buying ridiculously overpriced goods because you live on Cyprus, and no more being able to drink legally.

Enjoy the pictures. Put them into several albums as I took a whole lot. Love you all.

Day One: "Let's Float to Israel"

Day Two: "Cypriot Tour Guides"

Day Three: "Looking for the Holy Grail"

Day Four: "Bedouins and Beaches"

Cyprus Really Really Hates Me

I am in Cyprus for about one minute. After arriving in Cyprus at 3 in the morning I learned that my luggage has been lost. Not left in Vienna, but in airplane limbo with my sunblock, deodorant, toothbrush...basically my life essentials. Of course they lose it when I need it to repack for another trip I am embarking on tonight. Oye vey. Cyprus just wants me to be a dirty, disgusting, grimy individual and is probably just hiding my luggage in a back room just to spite me. It's that type of island....and I am just narcissistic enough to believe that an entire nation would plan its everyday mundane events around me.

The rest of Austria was wonderful, although exhausting. I have never thought that my day was complete so many times at once, only to have my hopes dashed with the prospect of climbing yet another mountain. Although I was always rewarded with fabulous ice cream at the end of the day, which always makes everything worth anything.

In a few hours I will be leaving for Jordan!!! This is probably the trip I am most excited about...hopefully everything will go according to plan and Cyprus won't rob me of my remaining underwear.

Here are two albums from my trip. I may have taken an over abundance of waterfall pictures, but they were pretty, so enjoy! Don't mock my silly outfits I modeled throughout the trip as my jeans with holes in them have left me with few clothes that are wearable. My recent loss of luggage should make Jordan even more fashionable!

Love you all!

Berlin:


Adventures in Mountain Climbing:

If I Climb a Wall in Berlin Does it Still Count if It's not THE Wall?

Berlin has come and gone. It was a nice city, but I'm pretty sure that I would have to move there to fully appreciate the city. I don't think I met any Germans but I did hang out with some Irish, a bunch of Aussies, and an American who refuses to ever work and instead slaves away playing music and using a fancy vocabulary to try and impress everybody else (which of course just annoyed me...there are just so many times you can use mellifluous in one day). It probably would have been a lot better if I had been with a friend in the city. Definitely an interesting place though with history basically every step you take. I had to avoid the streets the last day I was there because it is a huge day of rioting and setting cars on fire. Fun!

The highlight was probably the night we decided to have an adventure through the abandoned amusement park on the outskirts of Berlin. Unfortunately it ended up with us hiding out in tea pots and frantically jumping over a fence to avoid being caught by the Berlin police. We figured it must not be that bad since one of the tour companies in Berlin takes their tour groups to this same place. Again I met more foreigners when we ran into six Finnish girls who had also decided to try and play on the giant dinosaurs. Luckily we evaded the authorities and I managed to leave Germany without spending a night in jail.

Now I find myself in Austria with my friend Katie, a Russian girl named Elena, and our host Robert who is insane. His wife is coming home tonight and I am scared to meet her as I don't think I could manage to live with two people that have that much energy. We have hiked up several mountains, had picnics all over the place, went rock climbing, and did various other sporting activities. The man never ever slows down and it is exhausting just to be near him. I'm also having serious allergy issues and I think if I go near another tree, meadow, or basically anything in nature my nose and lungs will stop working. It is absolutely beautiful here and I find myself wondering why I am returning to America when I should instead just open up a pastry shop in Austria and live with the Alps as my house's backdrop.

I'll be back in Cyprus for about twelve hours, and then on to Jordan! Love you all!